"I am Worthy": An Experiment in Self-Worth and Self-Care
What am I worth?
Believe it or not, we ask ourselves some form of this question every day. Am I worthy? Am I good enough? Hard-working enough? Cool enough?
According to Brené Brown in her amazing book The Power of Vulnerability, we learn criteria for worthiness almost from the day we’re born. Reading her book as left me obsessing over one question: What if there were no criteria for worthiness?
I decided to do an experiment. I would live one day with the mantra I am worthy.
This experiment would probably look different for everyone who tries it. We all have shame and trauma triggers developed over the course of our unique lives. It will come as no surprise to anyone who knows me that I found myself reciting my worthiness mantra in decisions about my body. In addition to being a big Polish American girl in a Kate Moss world (fat positivity is a young movement), I grew up around women who were perpetually dieting and refusing to have their pictures taken. The message my subconscious pieced together? Only thin girls are worthy of cute halter tops (aging myself here) and breezy pictures with their friends.
Exhausted by the at times existentially ugly relationship I have with my body, I decided to spend one day saying, “I am worthy.”
And you know what I was worthy of? Turns out, I’m worthy of a full hour of yoga, even when my limbs start to tremble in chair pose. I’m worthy of 10 minutes of meditation – without looking at the timer! I’m worthy of rich, healthy food, including a pile of vegetables topped with eggs from my friend’s farm. And I’m worthy of a bright. Pink. Crop top.
My experiment in self-worth translated into self-care and fun fashions. I’m guessing this is just the tip of the iceberg, though.
If you made I am worthy your mantra for a day, what decisions do you think you’d make differently? Tell me in the comments below!